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"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing" – Benjamin Franklin

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giphy4

Owning up to your flaws and your mistakes and taking them as your own and not assigning blame to someone else is hard. Its hard to admit your wrong. I feel like all I am is wrong. I think growing up in house where there was very little praise I got accustomed to always beating myself up about my failures. I don’t know how to take a compliment. I don’t know what its like not to beat myself up about my failures and mistakes but just because you beat yourself up doesn’t mean you are owning it. Owning it means you fix it. I can’t fix things until people tell me what it is that I”m doing right and some people don’t understand that. Its hard but thats how I work. When you can’t have someone else well you have yourself. I have got to find my positive qualities. I have a ton. I can make people laugh. I can do that. I’m great at that.

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Owning up is hard, hard, hard. OWNING UP IS HALF THE BATTLE. OWNING UP MEANS LOVING YOURSELF MORE. You beat yourself up less. You start to fix the mistakes people don’t like or you decide to cut them out. If they can’t accept the flaws that are yours and will always be yours then they don’t deserve you. When I was in the hospital 3 years ago we had to make this silly flowers in art therapy and on the petals we had to write things about everyone that was nice and give them to each other to make the flower. Well no one really liked me so I didn’t get many petals but one of the techs gave me a petal that said she like about me that I was “unapologetically me”, which is oh so true. I am who I am and I am sorry I am not perfect. I made a flower and its beautiful and maybe I’ll share it with you one day. The people that MATTERED had nice things to say and my flower may not be full of petals but its pretty enough. OWN UP. Not just to the people around you but to yourself. OWN UP TO YOUR GOOD TOO. You do have it.

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