I’m taking a break from my story line of my homeless missionary to talk about “the cool kids” something I’ve never been. Something I’ve fought to be my whole life and I don’t know why. I’m obsessed with being a “cool kid” and well, guys, its just never going to happen. Its like in the movie “The Invention of lying” I could be famous and a millionaire and I’m still going to be labeled a “loser”. Its the way of the world. I’m hot but thats about it. I’m smart but I’m nerdy and I’m awkward. For crying out loud I walked down palofax carrying a comforter to a homeless dude, cool kids don’t do that. They just don’t. I am a 4 on the enneagram which is the “individualist” which means my personality type won’t allow me to conform to society or its really hard for me. I am trying to do whats right in my heart right now. I left my job because it was the right thing to do. I didn’t fit in at my job because I am not a cool kid and I let it really really get to me and yea things can get to a harassment level pretty quick. And when harassment happens it can cause us to hold grudges or act subconsciously in a way we normally wouldn’t act. I said things I should not have said. I hurt people I can’t take back. And I have to live with that. Will they think the same about the things they said to me that hurt, I don’t know.
You will meet people who will love you just the way you are. Those are your people. Your tribe. The ones you can count on. The ones who love you without question, who will FORGIVE you when you mess up. Those are real friends. The rest, well they don’t matter do they? You matter. So take care of you and remove the people that don’t care so you can make room for the people that do. I have a going away party tonight and I know that people will be there, not many but the people that matter.